Embrace the Chaos! Hot Tub Time Machine!

Had a blast watching this movie!  The pace was good and the "fairytale" story was what anyone would want-a chance to do your youth over and come out with a perfect life and perfect love.  We laughed a lot but really enjoyed the story.  You know that great place in time you go to when you are just having fun, maybe at a party, at the lake, in your backyard, and you forget everything else and actually live in the moment for a while??  This movie does that for me.  It takes me away and lets me live in the moment just laughing and having fun and forgetting everything else for awhile.  Very therapeutic.

The opening scene has John Cusack listening to a mean message on the answering machine from his ex-girlfriend who has moved out and taken almost everything in their home with her and is rubbing it in.  He hates his life and ends up being thrown together with 2 old friends from his youth when one of them nearly dies after passing out in his car while listening to Home Sweet Home by Motley Crue with the car running while parked in a closed garage.  They decide to all go away to a ski resort that was a favorite party place from their younger days, hoping to help their depressed friend.  When they get there, they all get in the hot tub, drinking, smoking and laughing all night.  They wake up in the 80's of their youth.  Silly idea or not, it is still hilarious!

As usual, this Led Zeppelin-loving old hippie discovered some really fun music (not a lot, though-it was the eighties after all!).  I am a fan of "Let's Get It Started" as done for the movie by Craig Robinson.  Will add it above to my youtube video player.  And, I will be listening to more Motley Crue!

I have to admit, I found John Cusack's drug binge after an old love breaks up with him, hilarious.  Clark Duke, the young, nerdy guy, is hilarious and is trying to keep the other guys from doing anything different to change the future, to ensure that he will still be born.   He finds John Cusack sitting in the dark in the hotel room binging on alcohol and drugs and Clark grabs a bag of psychodelic mushrooms and says, "Mushrooms?  You are eating mushrooms?!"  John says, "I was hungry."  When Clark storms out of the room, John picks the bag up and eats some more!

Loved all the actors and have always been a fan of John Cusack.  His future love in this has a great line, "Just embrace the chaos ."  I think she added, "and see what surprises life brings,"  or some similar sentiment.  I like that.  Love the idea of giving up the need to control and obsess over every detail of your life.  Just let it go and keep trying to do and be better, without all the guilt and emotion.  We, like the characters in the movie, before they went back in time, are a product of our negative expectations about ourselves and our potential.  Try starting with a clean slate, at least with your own attitude, each day, believing that you can do anything and BE OPEN TO WHATEVER GRAB BAG OF SURPRISES THE UNIVERSE GIVES YOU!

Leap Year-A touch of Irish Magic!

Maybe it is not the most believable story, but we want to believe it.  It is very romantic, particularly the premise of the love story, that two people can meet and fall in love very quickly, in spite of what they had planned for themselves,  then take that leap and commit to a lifetime together because they suddenly "KNOW" it is right.  Somehow, being set in Ireland, it seems all the more believable.  I get the feeling that the Irish make passionate choices and stand by them for a lifetime.

Anna, Amy Adams, has been dating her cardiologist boyfriend, Adam Scott, for four years and is buying an apartment with him, so, when he is seen leaving a jewelry store, she assumes he is going to propose to her at their special dinner the night before he leaves for a convention in Dublin.  To her dismay, he has only bought her diamond earrings.  So, her father suggests she could go to Ireland and take advantage of an old Irish tradition of the woman proposing to the man on the 29th of February, Leap Day of a Leap year.

She decides to do just that.  Although, Leap Day is a few days away, she encounters heavy storms and her best efforts to get to Dublin leave her stranded at a small pub/restaurant/inn, still a ways from Dublin.   The owner, Declan (Matthew Goode), is in a financial pinch and decides he will drive her to Dublin for money to pay off his restaurant debt.  They are at each other's throats from the beginning and as they leave for Dublin, one of the pub regulars remarks to another regular that they will kill each other.

Of course, they have many mishaps and delays but, have to cooperate with each other some of the time, getting to know each other a little better in the process.  They are forced to stay in a bed and breakfast and pretend to be married as the owners are very definite about what is right and readily show they are still mad about each other after 44 years of marriage.  Anna and Declan try to ignore a growing attraction to each other, but, it is getting pretty obvious by the time they get her to Dublin and her waiting boyfriend.  Her boyfriend proposes to her almost as soon as he sees her and Declan watches a moment, then turns and leaves.

She accepts her boyfriend's proposal and at a house party in their new apartment learns that he proposed because the apartment board had called him in Ireland and hinted that they preferred to sell to a married couple.  He said to a shocked Anna and two of their friends, "why the hell not!"  Declan had asked her once what was the one thing she would grab if her home was burning.  Suddenly Anna seems to know that she is not really that important to Jeremy, her fiance.  She sees the fire alarm and pulls it, watching to see what he considers most important to grab in that 60 seconds before getting out of a burning apartment.  He is grabbing his laptop, remote controls and business stuff.  He calls to her to get something for him, but she is gone.  She is on her way to Ireland.

In front of a full restaurant, she proposes to Declan that they agree to make no plans and see where this thing is going.  He walks away, she assumes, in rejection of her, but as she ends up at the cliffs, staring at the sea, he comes up behind her saying he had to get something.  He says he rejects her proposal to not make plans, because he wants to make plans with her, then he asks her to marry him as he holds out his mother's ring, the one thing he said he would get in his 60 seconds if his home was on fire.  She accepts, of course.

What is great about this movie, is Amy Adams ability to portray great emotion, in spite of a contrived script, and Matthew Goode's ability to portray with his expressions, alone, that he is a man of deep convictions who, once he commits to something, will stand by that commitment all his life.  Amy Adams is always worth watching no matter how silly the movie is.  She can tell a beautiful story without saying a word.

We are so used to being able to choose what we want from one moment to the next, that, we tend to have a difficult time making those kinds of commitments.  That is what I love about this movie.  You can actually believe that they are able to make such a deep and lasting commitment and you wish you could experience that kind of commitment in your life.  (I have run from commitment all my life!  My partner and I have been living together thirteen years!)

I have been working on an Irish-American family tree for an Irish man and woman, Mary and Patrick Hogan, who came to America,  met, married in Michigan, moved to Kansas, raised a large family, sticking it out through many hard years in Kansas and living into their 80's.  I wonder if they were madly in love and chose a life together, never once re-thinking that decision.  I suspect they did.   I bought a box of stuff at an auction many years ago, in Central Kansas and found an interesting wooden cylinder with a hidden, hollow area inside.  It has some carved decoration on it and the ends look solid, but, one of them comes off when you turn it.  Inside were Hogan family records of births, deaths and the actual marriage record made by the pastor who married them in about 1863 in Michigan.  I was so charmed by this family history that I have tried ever since to find relatives who would treasure it as I am sure the original family treasured it.  Maybe Patrick made it himself.  This movie makes me wonder if it is an Irish thing, to commit so fully.  Or, is it a thing of the past, when life was short and difficult and people didn't have the luxury of a lot of choices and had to be more decisive?  Much as I have always feared being trapped in a bad relationship, I envy that kind of commitment.

I watched the movie three times and saw new things every time.  You have to pay attention and listen closely for those little comments that Declan makes under his breath.  Many of the little things you might have missed, tell the story of the growing feeling between them.  And, I have been craving a "Hang Sandwich" all day!

Three Days and Counting

 Counting the days until the 27th when It's Complicated comes out on video so I can buy a copy and just wallow in it until I have had enough!  I think it is a babyboomer thing.  Going back to the scene of the crime (our youth, or things that allow us to relive some small part of it)!  I enjoyed all of this movie and can't wait to get it.  I only wish my life had turned out as successful as theirs!  Jeez-I guess I just didn't plan well!!  I was too busy just living.  Oops.

Date Night, Tina Fey and Steve Carell

  Hey, movie pickin's are getting slim lately, what with all the rush to vampire love and fantasy!  Ok, I am old, I admit it.  There was a time, when I was young and just developing my romantic tastes that I kind of got the hots big time for Christopher Lee after seeing him as Dracula.  He was the best and the sexiest of any I have seen.  Later, saw Frank Langella in Count Dracula and he was also pretty good, but Christopher Lee is my favorite.  Just looking him up online, I saw a photo of him with white hair, probably in his eighties, but he looked just as sexy as ever!  I will try to find a clip to add to the video player.

Okay, I see that younger people today, have very little in the way of romantic ideals to turn to, so, I can see why they might love the vampire and fantasy movies.  I have no interest in them, though.  We did go see Date Night with Tina Fey and Steve Carell.  It was funny all the way through and, being babyboomers, we could relate to them just wanting to have a little romance in their life after a week of taking care of children and work and seeing their friends split up because they have become just "really good roommates."

Anyone who has been in a longterm relationship can relate to that.  Which, made me wonder if being really "good" roommates, or "partners" isn't what marriage has ALWAYS been about.  Isn't that the real purpose of marriage?  Isn't that the best you can expect?  Then, when you have a little more free time, you begin to enjoy that comraderie, that comfort of knowing what you like and don't like, sharing inside jokes, laughing at each other when you get into little arguments because you no longer let them bother you?  Well, I kind of think that is pretty neat. 

Tina and Steve seemed to come out of it all with the same idea, I think.  Oh, they did explore one good idea.  That partners seem to pigeon-hole each other into certain stereotypes after years of living together, and that they need to just stop and allow their partner to be in charge once in a while and show that they can handle whatever if you let them.  Tina seemed to think that Steve could not possibly come up with a successful plan to solve their current dilemma and he called her on it and said, for once, just let him show her he can.  And he did.  She was pleasantly surprised.  Makes me wonder how much we all make those close to us live up to our negative expectations of them by contstantly reinforcing them in our minds and in theirs.  Just start with a fresh slate everyday, show some respect for your partner and let them be capable and competent masters of their world.  Negative expectations are no good for anyone!

Honeymoon and That Hagen Girl

  Well, I keep looking for a movie to go to and am just not seeing any that appeal that much.  So, will talk briefly about another couple of old Shirley Temple movies I saw today on TCM, both made in 1947.  The first one, Honeymoon, also starred Franchot Tone and Guy Madison.   It was fun, with a silly story about a young couple that can't wait to get married because the groom to be, Guy Madison, is in the service and about to be shipped off somewhere, so Shirely Temple lies and says she is married so she can follow him to Mexico and get married.  They involve the American Consulate, where Franchot Tone comes in.  It has exotic locale, romantic comedy and the always great Shirley Temple, who can make the goofiest stories interesting.  All I can say is, it seems that true love is just a matter of choice and committment, fooling yourself into believing it is true love, then working hard at maintaining that belief for the rest of your life.

The next Shirely Temple movie that came on, That Hagan Girl, was about small town gossip and how it can ruin people's lives and prevent them from ever becoming something in life.  Ronald Reagan was very nice in this and so was Shirley Temple.  Rory Calhoun was handsome and believable as Shirley's high school suitor.  It makes me think that the people who are willing to let their parents influence who they marry, especially the guys, are really not that in love or worth being in love with.  I remember the shock I felt, when a boyfriend told me his parents disapproved of me because my mother was divorced.  Thank God I was raised by an independent, open-minded, single mother who taught me by example to look beyond that kind of prejudice.  Good riddance to the worthless guy, too!

The Accidental Husband and The Only Thrill

We rented a few movies this weekend and The Accidental Husband was one of them, along with The Only Thrill.  In The Accidental Husband, Uma Thurman was a radio relationship counselor all set to marry Colin Firth, the man she judged to be the sensible choice.  She advises a caller who happens to be about to marry a local firefighter to break it off with him right before the wedding.  The firefighter is played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan who was pretty sexy and charismatic.  I have never seen him before, but he was perfect for the part.  He has a very direct, honest, in-your-face kind of approach to love and life and sets out to cause the relationship doctor the same kind of grief she caused him when she advised his fiance to break off the wedding.  He lets his landlord's teenage son, a skilled computer hacker, insert his name on the doctor's marriage license so she is unable to get married until she resolves this seeming glitch that has a different man's name already listed as her husband.  She tracks him down so they can correct the marriage license.  He begins to like her and tries to drag out the process of correcting the license and they end up in love.  I am not crazy about Uma Thurman, but, Jeffrey made the movie fun and interesting.

My take on this one is something I have thought for years - you can't find love by tallying a compatibility list and deciding someone is a good choice.  Compatibility is nice if you are not so alike that you are more like twins or siblings, but, it just does not make up for the chemistry that I feel needs to be there.  I believe you have to meet someone face-to-face to feel that connection.  And, I know how that chemistry thing can end up being nothing but a physical chemistry, but I still believe you can't REALLY fall in love on the internet, or through letters, or whatever.  You can think that you love each other and have everything in common but that feeling you feel when you look into each other's eyes, can't happen on paper or a computer screen.

The Only Thrill was also interesting, but a little long.  It starred Diane Keaton, Sam Shepherd, Diane Lane and Robert Patrick.  The moral of this story was, when you love someone, tell them and get them to stay with you.  I can relate.  I am patient.  I tend to think that when I think I feel something compelling for someone but it is not so easy to act on it, I will just wait, even until the next life!  Anything to avoid having to put myself out too much.  In the movie, Sam and Diane Keaton missed out on a life together but always loved each other.  Life has a way of slipping by rather quickly and Sam lost his chance to be with Diane.  Sam saw his son and Diane's daughter doing the same thing so he made his son go after her.  I thought it a little strange that someone like Sam's character would be so reluctant to commit to the woman he obviously loved.  He must have been a really repressed man.  The same with the son-why did he always avoid trying to get his love to stay with him?  As far as real life, I think it is more a question of being able to find that "love of your life" rather than not being able to tell them you love them.  

Romantic Places-Sedona, Arizona

 I have to mention my other favorite place on Earth, Sedona, Arizona.  It is so gorgeous and a wonderful place to get away for a romantic weekend.  I say "other" favorite place because the Kansas prairie is my favorite romantic place, with beautiful sunsets, sunrises and sunny, wide open blue skies you can see from every direction.  To me it is mysterious and beautiful.

Ooh-Up In The Air-Why "Hooking Up" As A Lifestyle Does Not Work!

Last night I watched Up In The Air with the suave George Clooney, a uniquely beautiful Vera Farmiga and amazing Anna Kendrick.  All were great.  It was a pretty good movie.  I didn't think it was about love or a love story, but more a story about a man who finally begins to grow up a little and appreciate relationships in his life.

Well, George Clooney is kind of funny as usual. It is just his style. The movie is an interesting glimpse into what is to me-an alien lifestyle, of someone who loves a life of air travel, hotels and casual relationships. (Personally, I hate hotel rooms. No matter how nice, I just look at them and remember how impersonal they are. Everything in the room is very frequently used by other people, the spreads are seldom washed and the beds and pillows are seldom comfortable. Then, the sheets are seldom attractive or comfortable like the ones at home. I can't believe anyone really likes that).

Oh well, I have lived long enough and through enough (remember free love?), to think that just "hooking up" is never going to be enough.  Handing out pieces of yourself like a plate of eggs, has no redeeming value at all.  This is what the movie is about.  People have feelings and the need to relate whether they want to admit it or not and maybe they can dehumanize themselves enough (reminds me of what drug addicts and gangs seem to become) to go a long time with only casual relationships but eventually they want something more.  If not, then it seems that they must shut off their emotions and conscience to such a degree that they are not really living.  That is why I cringe when people suggest that all that people want anymore is to hook up.  Ugh!

Now, that is not to say that those of us who find casual sex dehumanizing, are fully feeling human beings!  Far from it!  I suspect that I and many of the people I have known, tend to avoid feeling too much and have made such a habit of it that we don't even know it.  We avoid confrontation, avoid openly discussing issues in our relationships or doing anything that might rock the boat or make us work at relating or cause us to experience an unpleasant moment.  And, I like it that way.  Even so, I can see how that is letting FEAR of whatever, rule your life and I know that is not good.  I intend to try to maintain my comfort level as I slowly work at understanding that side of myself!  (Let's not go crazy)!

Back to Up In The Air.  I liked it.  Kinda question the oscar nominations, but, it was interesting and the actors were amazing.  Thank God everyone has a heart in the end!

Be brave-let yourself feel.  I like the idea of welcoming all feeling, good or bad and appreciating the joy of life.  Of course, that only works when the bad feelings aren't "too" bad!

It's Complicated!

Hilarious! I love this movie! Could be because I can so relate, being a babyboomer who has been through many of the same experiences. I plan to buy the dvd as soon as it comes out. Check out the video clip on my sidebar or custom video player, where Steve Martin picks up Meryl Streep for their date and she has had one hit off the joint her ex left for her, expecting she would try it when he was around, not when she was with someone else! The rest is hilarious, especially in the context of the whole movie. All the actors were so perfect in their parts! Love Harley! So funny.

As I type I am listening to the song, Good Thing, by the Fine Young Cannibals, which was the so perfect song playing at the party when Meryl and Steve are laughing and having so much fun and Alec Baldwin, the ex, is standing across the room getting more jealous by the second (Good Thing, where have you gone?). Can't get enough of that song!

Well, this movie also mimics real life, in my experience. Who hasn't made the mistake of getting involved with an ex again? Sure, there is some residual feeling there from all you have been through together and that heavy connection that comes from knowing someone on a very close, familial level. But, in my experience, the reasons you split just pop back up and remind you why you couldn't stay together before.

It can be intense, exhilarating, heart-stopping fun while it lasts, but a painful break up all over again. All I can say is, life is a confusing, complex affair. Just enjoy it, try not to hurt others and hang on for the ride!

The Ugly Truth

Just watched The Ugly Truth again and laughed almost as hard as I did in the theater. That is the dream we probably all want-- to find that love that is not ugly after all. Skeptical as I am, I still believe. Somewhere, somehow, there must be real, true love that is not just based on selfish needs. Let's hope. Check out the super sexy dance scene in my custom video player above. Wow. Makes one yearn for that kind of man who is like Gerard Butler in this scene-so much a "real" man, the kind that requires no talking, you just relate as a man and a woman and all you need to know is understood through that magical knowing that is clear in your eyes and the way your bodies move together. 

Unfortunately, a lot of magical moments made when our inhibitions are loosened by alcohol or whatever, may seem like that kind of connection, but are not the real deal, if indeed, it does exist!  Dancing seems to be the best way to experience that.  I have experienced some of those moments when dancing, where my partner leads so well that you easily glide on air as one on the dance floor, (or in bed), or when you and someone else are involved in completing some task that does not involve talking.  Something happens when we switch to that level of communication where speech is not needed.  It must be some special frequency in our brains that has a surreal, magical feel where time stands still.  No wonder we feel a strong connection when we experience that with someone.  It is amazing how you just know what each of you is feeling during one of those moments.  It is very appealing and I suspect it could be very nice to live in a world where the dance of romance did not involve any speech!

Probably goes back to that idea of wanting a "take charge" man, or a "strong" man, a man who will lead.  It is so appealing to imagine a man like that, but, of course, we would want him to be that way while respecting us!.  Good luck on that one!

Lost in Austen - YUM!

 What fun!  Check out the sexy Elliot Cowan as the romantic Mr. Darcy from Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice, in this movie about a modern girl who time travels into the novel, trading places with the character, Elizabeth Bennett.  Wouldn't it be nice if all men wore the hair and costumes of Mr. Darcy at least one day a year!  Gorgeous!  More later.
 Meanwhile, check out this video in my custom video player at the top of the page or at the link below to see the most romantic scenes from this movie!  Yum!
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcYmXrRSGmk

Valentine's Day!

 Valentine's Day was a cute movie that showed several types of romantic relationships.  Like, the main stars, Ashton Kutcher and Jennifer Garner realizing they really loved their best friends, each other.  And, the parallel stories of a young couple and the older couple who both discover hurtful secrets in each of their relationships and then come to the realization that love means accepting the bad with the good.  I like that lesson.  Let's us all off the hook!  It is a good concept for us to use with ourselves, too.  We tend to "accumulate" guilt about mistakes we make, bad decisions, wrong roads taken, etc. and we feel worse and worse as we realize more and more that we have screwed up.  It is not good for us to beat up on ourselves and as hard as it is, we need to accept the bad with the good and love ourselves, and everyone else, anyway.  I feel better already!   There is really no other way to get over the things you cannot change that pull you down, but, to accept that we make mistakes and we just have to learn our lessons and move on.  Each day is a new day.   Try drawing a picture to represent your mistakes, negative thoughts, or whatever holds you back, then erase it, white it out, or throw it away and imagine you are starting fresh.  Have positive thoughts and outlook, smile and embrace the joy of the day!  Be Happy!

Enchanted and other Fairy Tales

 I LOVE the movie Enchanted and I know I am not the only woman who does.  It seems to appeal to many  women for some reason.  I watched it again today, crying through the last half and loving the sweet fairy tale ending.  I really thought I was way beyond liking fairy tales, but apparently not.  I love anything that applies the most idealistic, anything-is-possible kind of attitude to everyday life  and ordinary people because I have always believed ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.  I think it comes with being a babyboomer.  The fifties kind of instilled that idealism in most of us and then, coming of age during the 60's and 70's and being a hippie, a freak, believing in the highest ideals, that idealistic nature became a dominating characteristic for me.  As an example, I used to pick up anyone hitchhiking, one time even giving a man my only dollar.  Coulda been killed!  Won't go into some of those wild stories, but, it kind of stays with you, or at least it did with me, that desire to spread the love and see the best in people if you can and never settle.   I have seen that kind of idealism still evident in many babyboomers. 

Enchanted is what we idealistic freaks want to believe-that everyone is really good, deserving of happiness, (except the evil queen!)  and good conquers all!  True love exists!  The sweet heroine convinces everyone she meets to believe in love and happiness, ever-after, in spite of their real-world cynicism, as she dances and sings about true love, spreading joy wherever she goes.   You find yourself hoping she can prove that life really can be that joyful and happy if we just CHOOSE to believe in it.  And Patrick Dempsey's girlfriend is happy to go to the fairy tale land of Andalasia because even though she has pretended to be practical about love while she was dating Patrick, under it all, she is really a deep romantic (like most of us?) who is impressed by the way the fairy tale prince knows his heart and wants to commit to her forever!  Who wouldn't want to know you are really loved without reservation.  This movie makes me cry and I wonder if it is for the sweet sentiment of it or for the fairy tale ending not evident in real life.  In any case I am ready to watch it again!  You can watch the dance at the ball where she realizes who her true love really is or, the movie trailer on the video player above.  Amy Adams conveys all the love and emotion she feels for Patrick Dempsey as she gazes into his eyes as they dance.  I watch it over and over!