We rented a few movies this weekend and The Accidental Husband was one of them, along with The Only Thrill. In The Accidental Husband, Uma Thurman was a radio relationship counselor all set to marry Colin Firth, the man she judged to be the sensible choice. She advises a caller who happens to be about to marry a local firefighter to break it off with him right before the wedding. The firefighter is played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan who was pretty sexy and charismatic. I have never seen him before, but he was perfect for the part. He has a very direct, honest, in-your-face kind of approach to love and life and sets out to cause the relationship doctor the same kind of grief she caused him when she advised his fiance to break off the wedding. He lets his landlord's teenage son, a skilled computer hacker, insert his name on the doctor's marriage license so she is unable to get married until she resolves this seeming glitch that has a different man's name already listed as her husband. She tracks him down so they can correct the marriage license. He begins to like her and tries to drag out the process of correcting the license and they end up in love. I am not crazy about Uma Thurman, but, Jeffrey made the movie fun and interesting.
My take on this one is something I have thought for years - you can't find love by tallying a compatibility list and deciding someone is a good choice. Compatibility is nice if you are not so alike that you are more like twins or siblings, but, it just does not make up for the chemistry that I feel needs to be there. I believe you have to meet someone face-to-face to feel that connection. And, I know how that chemistry thing can end up being nothing but a physical chemistry, but I still believe you can't REALLY fall in love on the internet, or through letters, or whatever. You can think that you love each other and have everything in common but that feeling you feel when you look into each other's eyes, can't happen on paper or a computer screen.
The Only Thrill was also interesting, but a little long. It starred Diane Keaton, Sam Shepherd, Diane Lane and Robert Patrick. The moral of this story was, when you love someone, tell them and get them to stay with you. I can relate. I am patient. I tend to think that when I think I feel something compelling for someone but it is not so easy to act on it, I will just wait, even until the next life! Anything to avoid having to put myself out too much. In the movie, Sam and Diane Keaton missed out on a life together but always loved each other. Life has a way of slipping by rather quickly and Sam lost his chance to be with Diane. Sam saw his son and Diane's daughter doing the same thing so he made his son go after her. I thought it a little strange that someone like Sam's character would be so reluctant to commit to the woman he obviously loved. He must have been a really repressed man. The same with the son-why did he always avoid trying to get his love to stay with him? As far as real life, I think it is more a question of being able to find that "love of your life" rather than not being able to tell them you love them.
EXPLORE MOVIE LOVE, LIFE AND MUSIC!
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Romantic Places-Sedona, Arizona
I have to mention my other favorite place on Earth, Sedona, Arizona. It is so gorgeous and a wonderful place to get away for a romantic weekend. I say "other" favorite place because the Kansas prairie is my favorite romantic place, with beautiful sunsets, sunrises and sunny, wide open blue skies you can see from every direction. To me it is mysterious and beautiful.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Ooh-Up In The Air-Why "Hooking Up" As A Lifestyle Does Not Work!
Last night I watched Up In The Air with the suave George Clooney, a uniquely beautiful Vera Farmiga and amazing Anna Kendrick. All were great. It was a pretty good movie. I didn't think it was about love or a love story, but more a story about a man who finally begins to grow up a little and appreciate relationships in his life.
Well, George Clooney is kind of funny as usual. It is just his style. The movie is an interesting glimpse into what is to me-an alien lifestyle, of someone who loves a life of air travel, hotels and casual relationships. (Personally, I hate hotel rooms. No matter how nice, I just look at them and remember how impersonal they are. Everything in the room is very frequently used by other people, the spreads are seldom washed and the beds and pillows are seldom comfortable. Then, the sheets are seldom attractive or comfortable like the ones at home. I can't believe anyone really likes that).
Oh well, I have lived long enough and through enough (remember free love?), to think that just "hooking up" is never going to be enough. Handing out pieces of yourself like a plate of eggs, has no redeeming value at all. This is what the movie is about. People have feelings and the need to relate whether they want to admit it or not and maybe they can dehumanize themselves enough (reminds me of what drug addicts and gangs seem to become) to go a long time with only casual relationships but eventually they want something more. If not, then it seems that they must shut off their emotions and conscience to such a degree that they are not really living. That is why I cringe when people suggest that all that people want anymore is to hook up. Ugh!
Now, that is not to say that those of us who find casual sex dehumanizing, are fully feeling human beings! Far from it! I suspect that I and many of the people I have known, tend to avoid feeling too much and have made such a habit of it that we don't even know it. We avoid confrontation, avoid openly discussing issues in our relationships or doing anything that might rock the boat or make us work at relating or cause us to experience an unpleasant moment. And, I like it that way. Even so, I can see how that is letting FEAR of whatever, rule your life and I know that is not good. I intend to try to maintain my comfort level as I slowly work at understanding that side of myself! (Let's not go crazy)!
Back to Up In The Air. I liked it. Kinda question the oscar nominations, but, it was interesting and the actors were amazing. Thank God everyone has a heart in the end!
Be brave-let yourself feel. I like the idea of welcoming all feeling, good or bad and appreciating the joy of life. Of course, that only works when the bad feelings aren't "too" bad!
Well, George Clooney is kind of funny as usual. It is just his style. The movie is an interesting glimpse into what is to me-an alien lifestyle, of someone who loves a life of air travel, hotels and casual relationships. (Personally, I hate hotel rooms. No matter how nice, I just look at them and remember how impersonal they are. Everything in the room is very frequently used by other people, the spreads are seldom washed and the beds and pillows are seldom comfortable. Then, the sheets are seldom attractive or comfortable like the ones at home. I can't believe anyone really likes that).
Oh well, I have lived long enough and through enough (remember free love?), to think that just "hooking up" is never going to be enough. Handing out pieces of yourself like a plate of eggs, has no redeeming value at all. This is what the movie is about. People have feelings and the need to relate whether they want to admit it or not and maybe they can dehumanize themselves enough (reminds me of what drug addicts and gangs seem to become) to go a long time with only casual relationships but eventually they want something more. If not, then it seems that they must shut off their emotions and conscience to such a degree that they are not really living. That is why I cringe when people suggest that all that people want anymore is to hook up. Ugh!
Now, that is not to say that those of us who find casual sex dehumanizing, are fully feeling human beings! Far from it! I suspect that I and many of the people I have known, tend to avoid feeling too much and have made such a habit of it that we don't even know it. We avoid confrontation, avoid openly discussing issues in our relationships or doing anything that might rock the boat or make us work at relating or cause us to experience an unpleasant moment. And, I like it that way. Even so, I can see how that is letting FEAR of whatever, rule your life and I know that is not good. I intend to try to maintain my comfort level as I slowly work at understanding that side of myself! (Let's not go crazy)!
Back to Up In The Air. I liked it. Kinda question the oscar nominations, but, it was interesting and the actors were amazing. Thank God everyone has a heart in the end!
Be brave-let yourself feel. I like the idea of welcoming all feeling, good or bad and appreciating the joy of life. Of course, that only works when the bad feelings aren't "too" bad!
Friday, March 12, 2010
It's Complicated!
Hilarious! I love this movie! Could be because I can so relate, being a babyboomer who has been through many of the same experiences. I plan to buy the dvd as soon as it comes out. Check out the video clip on my sidebar or custom video player, where Steve Martin picks up Meryl Streep for their date and she has had one hit off the joint her ex left for her, expecting she would try it when he was around, not when she was with someone else! The rest is hilarious, especially in the context of the whole movie. All the actors were so perfect in their parts! Love Harley! So funny.
As I type I am listening to the song, Good Thing, by the Fine Young Cannibals, which was the so perfect song playing at the party when Meryl and Steve are laughing and having so much fun and Alec Baldwin, the ex, is standing across the room getting more jealous by the second (Good Thing, where have you gone?). Can't get enough of that song!
Well, this movie also mimics real life, in my experience. Who hasn't made the mistake of getting involved with an ex again? Sure, there is some residual feeling there from all you have been through together and that heavy connection that comes from knowing someone on a very close, familial level. But, in my experience, the reasons you split just pop back up and remind you why you couldn't stay together before.
It can be intense, exhilarating, heart-stopping fun while it lasts, but a painful break up all over again. All I can say is, life is a confusing, complex affair. Just enjoy it, try not to hurt others and hang on for the ride!
As I type I am listening to the song, Good Thing, by the Fine Young Cannibals, which was the so perfect song playing at the party when Meryl and Steve are laughing and having so much fun and Alec Baldwin, the ex, is standing across the room getting more jealous by the second (Good Thing, where have you gone?). Can't get enough of that song!
Well, this movie also mimics real life, in my experience. Who hasn't made the mistake of getting involved with an ex again? Sure, there is some residual feeling there from all you have been through together and that heavy connection that comes from knowing someone on a very close, familial level. But, in my experience, the reasons you split just pop back up and remind you why you couldn't stay together before.
It can be intense, exhilarating, heart-stopping fun while it lasts, but a painful break up all over again. All I can say is, life is a confusing, complex affair. Just enjoy it, try not to hurt others and hang on for the ride!
The Ugly Truth
Just watched The Ugly Truth again and laughed almost as hard as I did in the theater. That is the dream we probably all want-- to find that love that is not ugly after all. Skeptical as I am, I still believe. Somewhere, somehow, there must be real, true love that is not just based on selfish needs. Let's hope. Check out the super sexy dance scene in my custom video player above. Wow. Makes one yearn for that kind of man who is like Gerard Butler in this scene-so much a "real" man, the kind that requires no talking, you just relate as a man and a woman and all you need to know is understood through that magical knowing that is clear in your eyes and the way your bodies move together.
Unfortunately, a lot of magical moments made when our inhibitions are loosened by alcohol or whatever, may seem like that kind of connection, but are not the real deal, if indeed, it does exist! Dancing seems to be the best way to experience that. I have experienced some of those moments when dancing, where my partner leads so well that you easily glide on air as one on the dance floor, (or in bed), or when you and someone else are involved in completing some task that does not involve talking. Something happens when we switch to that level of communication where speech is not needed. It must be some special frequency in our brains that has a surreal, magical feel where time stands still. No wonder we feel a strong connection when we experience that with someone. It is amazing how you just know what each of you is feeling during one of those moments. It is very appealing and I suspect it could be very nice to live in a world where the dance of romance did not involve any speech!
Probably goes back to that idea of wanting a "take charge" man, or a "strong" man, a man who will lead. It is so appealing to imagine a man like that, but, of course, we would want him to be that way while respecting us!. Good luck on that one!
Unfortunately, a lot of magical moments made when our inhibitions are loosened by alcohol or whatever, may seem like that kind of connection, but are not the real deal, if indeed, it does exist! Dancing seems to be the best way to experience that. I have experienced some of those moments when dancing, where my partner leads so well that you easily glide on air as one on the dance floor, (or in bed), or when you and someone else are involved in completing some task that does not involve talking. Something happens when we switch to that level of communication where speech is not needed. It must be some special frequency in our brains that has a surreal, magical feel where time stands still. No wonder we feel a strong connection when we experience that with someone. It is amazing how you just know what each of you is feeling during one of those moments. It is very appealing and I suspect it could be very nice to live in a world where the dance of romance did not involve any speech!
Probably goes back to that idea of wanting a "take charge" man, or a "strong" man, a man who will lead. It is so appealing to imagine a man like that, but, of course, we would want him to be that way while respecting us!. Good luck on that one!
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