It's All Good-

I am amazed at the wisdom of some people. The other day, I was in a convenience store and a young girl I remember from when I was a substitute teacher, was working behind the counter. I think she struggled a little with school, but, now all grown up, seemed quite competent and confidant.  On this day, I felt I was holding up the line a little and being the worry wart (as my grandma always called me) that I am, I said, "Oh, that man is holding ice (and having to wait in line) and she said something like, "don't worry, it's all good." I know a lot of young people say that now, but I still love the all-encompassing wisdom of that philosophy! In a good moment, I really do feel that is true. All life experiences, good or bad, are going toward our growth and wisdom. She has turned into such a sweet, serene and wise young woman. Never judge. I notice a lot of students I taught who had difficulties with learning are now quite capable, young adults. All is possible, the past never locks you in to a certain future.  In metaphysics, it is my favorite philosophy.  I can really believe that all things contribute to our growth and expansion of spirit.  It is the same as saying, "It is grist for the mill."  Which just means all experiences help make up the total person that you are.  Of course, we all notice at some time in our life how the unpleasant experiences make us embrace the pleasant experiences with increased joy and appreciation.  For me, being in the hospital a week two years ago, gave me a renewed love of everything outdoors; green grass in the sunshine, the breeze blowing and lifting your hair, the sun beating down on your face.  Anna, an amazing woman I once worked with, who never encountered a task she would not tackle and complete, would say of the snow and rain her kids had to deal with while delivering papers, "builds character!"  Some of us might get a little bent along the way, but it does build character!

As all types of experiences offer opportunities for growth, so do all relationships.  When it comes to love and the concept of soul mates, I believe all connections with people are "soul connections" whose purpose varies according to lessons needed to learn or karmic experiences to experience. A favorite author and regression hypnotist, Dick Sutphen, talks of different types of soul mates, too. One lesson I have learned is, not all "soul connections" we may feel are actually sexual or romantic. Because we may have a strong soul connection with someone, I think we sometimes feel we are in love with them, when, maybe what we feel is really a different type of love. Maybe they were a close friend, brother, sister, child or parent in another incarnation. Those relationships can still be romantic in this incarnation, but, sometimes we end up in a relationship which really feels more like a sibling or good friend.  I think that when we feel a strong connection to someone, we should not immediately assume it is sexual attraction and try to be open and realistic about what we are really feeling towards them.  Just because we feel close or connected, it doesn't necessarily mean we are meant to be lovers.

I have always yearned for someone who shares my interests so we could enjoy doing things together. That is probably the Libra me, always wanting to "partner up" with someone. I seem to feel I can't really enjoy things without someone special by my side. Yet, my Aquarius moon, or something else maybe, makes me crave alone time to do my creative stuff, painting, writing, etc.

Anyway, I once found a really smart and interesting man who seemed to be so much like me. Well, we did love the cats that found their way to us, enjoyed living in the country, taking Nature walks and listening to music on state of the art equipment. But, he had some abusive traits. I spent most of our time together trying to figure out how to escape, get out on my own. I also confronted him on everything. When I finally moved out, we became good friends, hanging around, going for walks, etc. He accompanied me to see a famous psychic and she said, without my asking, that our relationship was not really a sexual one, we were too much alike. Hmm. I could see it was true.

Another crazy infatuation I had was totally based on some kind of "chemistry" we had and on my romantic imagination building a lot out of nothing. Again, a psychic/astrologer friend of my mother's in AZ, said it was just a physical relationship and he would only hurt me. I knew that well enough and it helped me admit it to myself and see things as they really were. I quit going to see him, and he seldom bothered to come to me, so it ended. Many months later, in a moment of boredom or lonliness, I called him to see how he was doing and he acted so happy to hear from me and so in love with me. He invited me to go out for dinner. He asked me where I had gone. I told him I didn't go anywhere, I just stopped coming to see him. He admitted that was true, he was sorry, etc. It didn't change anything. I am fond of all the people I have known and been privileged to be involved with. I have experienced and learned so much. And, now that I know myself better, (!) I am truly amazed that anyone could put up with me!

Now, if I feel a strong connection to someone, I realize it probably just means we had some kind of relationship in another incarnation. Don't always assume it is your SOUL MATE. Just relax and stay open, don't get in a rush to make something happen. I tend to think of relationships in terms of a beginning, middle and an end. I feel a little more removed from the emotional throes of that belief in ONE TRUE LOVE. I begin seeing all relationships as a process that has some purpose such as providing an opportunity to learn to be a better person, or re-do past mistakes. That makes it difficult to feel there really is some kind of SUPER LOVE out there. But, of course, I hope there is. It would be so nice. I love all the joys of living (most of the time!) and I am thankful for all the people I have known and learned with and from. Be nice to each other and appreciate the good stuff.