Hello all you brave people who are willing to think about the meaning of love and relationships and all that. I have been studying on this and trying to come to some hard and fast conclusions for my whole life!! And I am unable to come up with any absolutes! Every individual is different and every given moment of anyone's life is a magical, big NOW that is like a whole universe wrapped up in a moment, and therefore, worthy of any value that the person FEELS is REAL. Who am I or anyone else to say my belief about love is more valid than someone else's experience. Not possible. I admit it. I will muse about my observations, possible common experiences or generalizations that may or may not sometimes apply to love or relationships in general.
I was driven to write about this because I watched the dvd summary of Bridges of Madison County again last night and once again, (unlike my significant other), felt a little annoyed that this fabulous movie portrayal of a love affair seems to suggest that this brief encounter is a love that transcends all other loves. Here I am, thinking, yeah right-just try to keep them together for the long haul. (I know the analysis of the movie and book say it is more about the roles that these two people cannot excape and how this great love affair is a kind of outlet for that frustration---or something like that, and I would agree more with that, but, my guy acts like this is the best love story on earth and I resent that, darn it!! Hence the annoyance I begin to feel that this is really a great portrayal of true love. I am not so sure. I must admit, I find myself suddenly remembering some scene from the movie months and years later. That is my idea of a good movie-one that sticks with you and that makes you keep remembering parts of it throughout the years.
Just like the would be lovers, Bob Hope and Lucille Ball in one of my favorite movies, The Facts of Life, I tend to think that if Francesca and Robert could have stayed together in Bridges of Madison County, they would quite likely become fed up with each other's idiosyncrasies and split after a few years. Maybe. Maybe not. But, the point is, we all know of someone, maybe ourselves even, who leaves someone because they think they have found true love with someone else, only to find that, after getting to know their new love better and sharing all the trials and stresses of daily life, they realise they really don't have all that much in common and they can't quite remember why they thought they were so madly in love. So what exactly was that crazy bit of delusion that took them over??
I vacillate between thinking it is all delusion, and, maybe for some, it just might be the REAL THING. It could be delusion--just needy humans, hungry for that divine feeling of being totally loved and wanted no matter what, that they PROJECT all that they ever desired in a true love, ONTO their image of that person they imagine exists, or the person they have found to "be in love with" and they "love" all these fabulous things about their love, not realizing, that those "things" only exist in their own imagination. Then, one day, they see the not-so-wonderful reality of their "true love" and realize that none of the great qualities they saw in them, really existed.
Or, you hear of a few people who seem to have a wonderful, deep, committed relationship for all thier lives and you have to ask yourself, "uh, maybe, some people actually manage to find a partner like none I have ever known--something truly special--where they actually REALLY love each other-care about each other, want their partner to be happy, are interested in what their partner thinks, says, likes to do, just because they really love them and really care what they think and like. Uh, sorry, not sure I have known any males like that. They usually begin by appearing to be like that, only to reveal ulterior motives were behind their great devotion.
Of course, lots more we all could say on that, including that even the basist motivations could hide what might be a genuinely caring person, just one like so many, who is not great with expressing deep feelings, or like me, not even sure what they are!
I was driven to write about this because I watched the dvd summary of Bridges of Madison County again last night and once again, (unlike my significant other), felt a little annoyed that this fabulous movie portrayal of a love affair seems to suggest that this brief encounter is a love that transcends all other loves. Here I am, thinking, yeah right-just try to keep them together for the long haul. (I know the analysis of the movie and book say it is more about the roles that these two people cannot excape and how this great love affair is a kind of outlet for that frustration---or something like that, and I would agree more with that, but, my guy acts like this is the best love story on earth and I resent that, darn it!! Hence the annoyance I begin to feel that this is really a great portrayal of true love. I am not so sure. I must admit, I find myself suddenly remembering some scene from the movie months and years later. That is my idea of a good movie-one that sticks with you and that makes you keep remembering parts of it throughout the years.
Just like the would be lovers, Bob Hope and Lucille Ball in one of my favorite movies, The Facts of Life, I tend to think that if Francesca and Robert could have stayed together in Bridges of Madison County, they would quite likely become fed up with each other's idiosyncrasies and split after a few years. Maybe. Maybe not. But, the point is, we all know of someone, maybe ourselves even, who leaves someone because they think they have found true love with someone else, only to find that, after getting to know their new love better and sharing all the trials and stresses of daily life, they realise they really don't have all that much in common and they can't quite remember why they thought they were so madly in love. So what exactly was that crazy bit of delusion that took them over??
I vacillate between thinking it is all delusion, and, maybe for some, it just might be the REAL THING. It could be delusion--just needy humans, hungry for that divine feeling of being totally loved and wanted no matter what, that they PROJECT all that they ever desired in a true love, ONTO their image of that person they imagine exists, or the person they have found to "be in love with" and they "love" all these fabulous things about their love, not realizing, that those "things" only exist in their own imagination. Then, one day, they see the not-so-wonderful reality of their "true love" and realize that none of the great qualities they saw in them, really existed.
Or, you hear of a few people who seem to have a wonderful, deep, committed relationship for all thier lives and you have to ask yourself, "uh, maybe, some people actually manage to find a partner like none I have ever known--something truly special--where they actually REALLY love each other-care about each other, want their partner to be happy, are interested in what their partner thinks, says, likes to do, just because they really love them and really care what they think and like. Uh, sorry, not sure I have known any males like that. They usually begin by appearing to be like that, only to reveal ulterior motives were behind their great devotion.
Of course, lots more we all could say on that, including that even the basist motivations could hide what might be a genuinely caring person, just one like so many, who is not great with expressing deep feelings, or like me, not even sure what they are!
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